A Silent Prayer

This one is a guest post by Dr Angeline Zachariah, my better half. Trained as a Clinical Pathologist (DCP, 2008 Batch, Christian Medical College, Vellore), she is a big help in outpatient department and the Laboratory. Angel, as she is popularly  known, belongs to the MBBS Batch of 2000, of Medical College, Trivandrum. 

It has been quite some time since I've been praying for MD. She has been coming regularly for ante-natal care since the last 2 months. 

Today she came about 1 week past her expected date of delivery. And we have induced her. 

The reason for my prayers . . . 

MD has been married for about 7 years. She has 2 children . . . both girls. 

When MD first visited us for ANC, she told her story. It was with much difficulty that her in-laws agreed to let her visit a hospital for antenatal care. Her husband was also not interested. The obvious reasons . . . her 2 pregnancies have resulted in 2 girls. 

She narrated how her husband had refused to see the first born when he came to know that the baby was a girl. It was when one of our nurses told him to leave the baby in the hospital that he took a peek at the baby. 

In fact, it was her brothers who forcibly brought her for antenatal care and now, for the hospital delivery. When they went to bring her to her mother's home, she was bluntly told by her husband to not return to him if the third baby was also a girl. 

However, there was something that encouraged me. She told me that she was determined to educate her daughters now that she has seen me . . . a lady doctor. 

As I talked to her every time she came for antenatal care, I realised that this lady is in the danger of being abandoned by her husband. It is not uncommon that we see wives being abandoned just because they could not deliver a male progeny. I could not help but pray that she has a boy baby. 

When I returned home, I wondered if it was right for me to pray that she has a baby boy . . . or should I fervently pray for a change in heart of the husband and the in-laws? And of course a change of heart of the communities/societies we are in. 

Abandoned . . .

This is the story of a lady with a very bad burns who was brought to us about 2 months back. 

Initially, we did not know why she tried to commit suicide. Now, we know. 

Her husband had another woman and it was difficult for her to accept it. We came to know about it only towards the fag end. 

TD had doused herself with kerosene and set herself aflame. She sustained about 40% deep burns mainly of her face and trunk. It was very difficult

However, she fought valiantly . . . before she gave up. She gave up as she realised that there was no adult to whom she could look up for support. 

For about couple of weeks, her husband came on and off. Then, her constant companion was her daughter. She had a teenage son whom we never say.  

It was a sombre atmosphere during rounds each day when we could not tell much to this little girl. 

The staff eating in the mess shared their food. But, that was not enough. She needed blood . . . more food . . .  someone to hold her when the dressings took place. And there was none. 

The bystanders of her fellow patients said that she better be gone as her life is going to be miserable. 

Another story of the abandoned and uncared woman in the household. 

In another room near to where TD died lies CD, the new mother with 2 girl babies . . . both of them weighing not more than 1.5 kilograms. Every day I visit CD, the gloom pervades the room. It's very obvious that the family looks forward to CD getting pregnant again soon and try to deliver a boy baby. The fact that she went through a difficult pregnancy (twin pregnancy with eclampsia) does not hold any value for the family. 

Yes . . . another example of women being left to fend for themselves in a male dominated world. 

The total cost of treating TD was about 75,000 INR for almost 2 months. Her family had raised about 25,000 INR. We're glad that we've been able to write off the rest. However, this would mean that we need help to subsidise the care of such patients. 

Abandoned . . . but beautiful

Snaps from Ross Island, Andamans. Taken in 2005 . . .