Heart wrenching . . .

5 days back, there was a 17 year old who walked into the Emergency  Room. She was not able to pass urine since the last 24 hours. We thought that she must have a bad Urinary Tract Infection. We put a rubber catheter and drained out the urine and sent a sample for microscopy. 

Later, the doctor who saw her suspected something amiss and found out that she had missed her periods for 3 months. And then the story about a rape and a probable attempted abortion came into the open. The girl was send for an ultrasound. Sure, there was a dead fetus in her uterus. It was surprising that there was no bleeding per vagina when we put a catheter to drain the urine. 

After obtaining consent from the girl, the father was informed about the pregnancy. Blood tests were also sent which showed that she was in sepsis. 

The call I had to take was about informing the law about the rape. I took the family to my office and explained the process that I had to take as the head of the institution. 

The girl and her parents would not have any of it. They did not want the police or anybody to get involved. The errant boy was from the same village. 

'His family could harass us.' 

'Let the issue die out. Our daughter will not get married.'

They went out reassuring me that they would get back in couple of hours. They never came back. 

The family returned after 2 days saying that they did not want any treatment. 

There can be a myriad of possibilities here. The girl may have been actually raped . . . she may have consented to the relationship . . . the boy's family may have given her the abortifacient . . . they may have paid the girl's family off . . .

The bottom line is that the exploitation of women is no big deal in our country. Many a time, even when they want to fight back, their options are too limited.

I remember the lines of one of our mukhiyas (village headman) while the Delhi rape case had just occurred and there was the unprecedented public ire in the whole country.  

'Doctor saab, patha nahim ye itna halla kyom ho raha hai. Gavom mein ye sab hoote rahte haim. Ladki ha ijjat rakna hai, to chup chap settle karna hi accha hai.' (Dear doctor, I wonder why such a noise is being made about the whole issue. In villages, such things are quite common. If the girl should keep her honor, such things should be settled quietly). 

Over the last year since the Delhi rape case, we've had umpteen number of cases reported in the media involving the high and the mighty where women had been humiliated or exploited in some way or the other. 

Please take a minute and wonder about how many such cases occur on a regular scale in the whole country which never go reported . . . 

Does this bother us . .. ...

The Third Movement . . .

Over the last year, we've seen 2 major peoples movements on the streets . . . The first one - Anna Hazare's crusade against corruption which seems to died a silent death . . . The second one, the embers of which are still burning - the nation's outrage against the Delhi rape case. We are still not sure of what the outcome of the second movement would be. 

What does one make out of these sort of mass protests. We've seen similar protests taking place in other countries too. But, they made much impact. We're all quite familiar with the White Revolution which started off in Tunisia and went on to engulf Egypt in an unthinkable way and later and continues in Yemen, Bahrain, Syria, Lebanon and Jordan. 

The question is whether we could expect such a result in India. My opinion is that we may not. 

The reasons are many. I shall try to put couple of them in this post . . . 

1. Although a single country, we are divided. Divided in terms of language, culture, cuisine, economic power, caste etc. etc. We've all been actively following the Anna's movement against corruption. We all know that corruption has been entrenched in our veins since quite a long time. When a decision needs to be taken against a corrupt person, all the divisions which are amongst us play a very crucial role. 

2. This is with specific reference to the issue of violence against women. Keeping women in subjugation has been a prevalent practice in almost all of the cultures of the country. If there is any difference, it is the tribal communities of the North East where the woman is empowered to quite an extent. I've put many of the instances where the girl is treated inferior to the boy during our clinical practice here at NJH. 

However, I strongly feel that there is a silver lining to both these mass movements. The very fact that the Indian citizens have responded to both these themes is something which needs to be appreciated. However, responses need to be made at the grass root level too. I repeat the same which I made in my post on the Delhi rape case. 

The change we look for needs to be started in our families and communities . . . 

For corruption . . .  how many of us would resist giving that extra 100 rupees for a berth in our trains, or the extra 100 rupees for chai-pani to the government clerk who has to issue us a certificate or the 500 rupees to speed up the process of obtaining the driving licence. I'm afraid that this is going to take some time . . . but unless this sort of a resistance to corruption builds up the grass root level, we would not go much distance in eradicating the evil of corruption. 

With regard to the violence against women . . . we need to bring up our daughters with the same love and care that we give our sons. As of now, the birth of a daughter brings a pall of gloom in most of the Indian homes. I can tell you instances where the daughter in the family is illiterate whereas the son has gone on to become an engineer. Recently, one of my acquintances was telling me that he was finding it difficult to find a suitable match for himself as none of the prospective brides from his own caste had any education beyond Class X. In fact, it was reported that there were about 25 reported cases of molestation of women while the nation was protesting the Delhi rape. 

As we go on the the New Year 2013, I wonder what are the other issues on which we would need a people's movement . . . another issue which would bring out the crowd into the streets of Delhi . . . 

I strongly feel that the issue of the Caste System is something that is playing havoc in our country. Of course, we've already have had the Mandal commission protests way back in 1990. But, to be very honest, the caste system thoroughly divides our society . . . Villages, communities, colleges .. .. .. it is very sad to see this division causing so much of mistrust and antagonism.

A national integration with respect to language and culture is a distant dream . . . However, there is a crying need for a eradication of the caste based mindset among our communities which is many a time worse than apartheid. 

Wish you all a better India in 2013. I pray that each of us will strive to work together for making our lives enriched and our nation a better place to live in. May each of us be a blessing to our neighbours and communities .. .. .. 

Much beyond rape . . .

There has been much written in the web and print media about the violence against women in our country after the very sad incident of a young lady being gang raped inside a moving bus in Delhi. 

My take on this issue . . . 

As many of us know very well, this is not an isolated incident. This article in 'The Hindu' has highlighted other such incidents. Even, the other day, it was not a difficult thing to spot out 3 incidents of violence against women including rape which was reported by our local newspaper. None of these hogs any limelight. The fact remains that women and the girl child occupy quite a lower rank in the social order. Time and again, I see this being emphasised by families during my clinical practice. It's many a time disgusting. 

In addition, I know families where the son has been given all facilities to do his studies, whereas the girl remains uneducated and uncared. 

When such an attitude prevails in the family, one need not search much to find out the sort of ideals which is instilled in the young men of the family. As they get out of the home environment, they look at women as objects to be used for satisfying their pleasures. 

Not many a day is not passed where the woman is not undressed in their thoughts and minds. And the pleasure so attained graduates to lewd comments and eve-teasing. The media of our day complements such thoughts and actions. Molesting and rape is just the extreme methods of this mindset. 

It seems that one requires to become an eunuch to be immune to such an attitude towards women. And any such protective attitude could end you in trouble as the two young men discovered last year. 

Well, where do we start? 

I believe that our learning starts at our homes where a daughter is as prized as the son. Our homes should be places where the husband will treat his wife with respect and kindness that the son would behave likewise with the women he meets in his life. Our daughters should not know what dowry means. 

There should be as much joy in a home when a daughter is born as when a son is born. The women in the house eats along with the rest of the family . . . 

I could go on and on. 

The situation is so worse in many of the regions of the country that the attitude towards the girl child has resulted in a situation the young men have to go in search of brides to other places. I saw the terminology of gendercide in this article. I'm not sure of how correct the terminology is . . . but the fact is that we have a situation of genocide which is targeting the female gender. 

What we see in the protests in Delhi is to quite a lot of extent, a mob response to this whole affair. I'm sure that there are quite a few aspiring leaders who would want to use this opportunity to make themselves heard. 

Things need to go to a micro-level . . . homes, communities, social groups etc. . .  if we want to see any change in this issue.